I don’t believe that humans are capable of true forgiveness.  It is not possible for us.  We will always remember and make slight judgements even if we don’t realize we are doing it.  I think those that get the closest to truly forgiving are those who need it the most because they are willing to forgive for they want it so badly; but still they can not do it fully.  They are still human.

Serious posts are boring!  I am bored.  I need to figure something out.  I think I will make some valentines cookies.  Happy freakin’ Valentines day.

Job
Debt
TV
House


I have no time. There is not enough. I have tried to live on 5 hours of sleep and it doesn’t work. I keep thinking “I am raising a child and that is very important. I will live my potential through her” and then I think “Crap. Are my parents trying to live their potential through me?”.
Seriously if they are or were they have probably given up hope long, long ago. It is good that they had four kids. They have 3 more chances to prove themselves.

Maybe it all comes down to managing but seriously manage what?

Get up, get ready for work, feed Eva, get Eva ready.

Take Eva where she needs to go, go to work.

Work.


Get off work, get Eva, go home, go running.


Make dinner, feed Eva, clean up, put Eva to bed, shower.


It is now 11 p.m.


Do I stay up and do something productive? Do I go to bed?


I give credit where credit is due. Clint does help with a lot things but it’s not like it frees up tons of time to start some amazingly fulfilling project.


I am lowering my potential….maybe…..I do have the weekends to catch up.


Or this is my potential and I am giving myself way too much credit.


School is not the answer….don’t mention it.


The end end end.




btw: It was Teen Wolf. It was such a good movie they made a second one.

Being a working mom is not as glamorous as the movies make it look which is quite disappointing. Seriously, where is my intense music when I wake up an hour and a half late and I am trying to get me and a baby out the door; where is the sweet music when I kiss my baby goodbye and dash out the door like a mad women; where is my hero shot when I make it to work looking calm, collected and in an amazing outfit with amazing heels and where is the scene when I am offered tons of money and a huge promotion because I am so amazing at my job and I landed the big client that the company so badly needed?

Reality: no makeup today, no straightening iron today, no breakfast today (not even water), definitely no amazing outfit with heels, and to top it off I was stretching and I looked down to see my much too hairy armpits! I am in a cap sleeve shirt! Sick!! Note to self: Arms must stay glued to sides all day.

I must also note the guilt I feel because my mother-in-law has Eva today and over the weekend her basement flooded and her freezer broke so she is completely overwhelmed but she still took her. I think I will have to get off work early today. The guilt and the armpit hair are unbearable.