The Past Isn’t Just the Past
Friday, April 18th, 2008I’ve learned to hate the saying “the past is the just the past, you can’t change it so don’t worry about it.” The past is a big part of my present. It pops up when I least expect it and it makes me feel like crap. It is always there looming in wait until I am in a great place and then it creeps back up on me to ruin my mood. Either by thoughts of my own or by words or actions from others.
The thing I need to remember is that though I can’t change the past I can make it so that the past can change my future by learning from it and making better decisions.
Another thing I need to remember is that my past doesn’t have to define me. I am capable of changing and learning and becoming better. The problem that I run into is that those around me might not forget my past and allow me to change in their view. Since that is out of my control I need to do what I can by forgiving people their pasts and hoping for the same.
You are right Tam, your past doesn’t define you. I have made huge mistakes in my past…..but I am not ashamed of them or embarassed by them (for the most part) I am the sum of my life experiences – both good and bad. They don’t define me, but they have shaped me. I like the person I am, so I guess I am okay with the mistakes I have made.
Tammy,
Please know that I believe your past if far less reaching than my own. Whatever ways you felt it came back to haunt you, were almost certainly tainted by MY past and separate from anything I know you to be.
I love your honesty.